t h u g l i f e

And I couldn’t spill my heart
My eyes gleam
Looking in from the dark
I walk out in stormy weather
Hope my words keep us together
Steady walking but bound to trip
Should release but just tighten my grip

Night time
Sympathize
I’ve been working on
White lies
So I’ll tell the truth
I’ll give it up to you
And when the day come
It will have all been fun
We’ll talk about it soon

Story time.

So today Candice and Danielle came over to hang out and it was cool stuff and then Danielle left and then it was just Candice and I left with some of my other family members.  We went for a tiny walk and then we sat in my room doing basically nothing until she left right before dinner.  I ate tasteless pork chops then after finishing I started bumming out because Candice wasn’t there anymore and I had some extra energy so I decided that I would go ride my old rusted to shit bmx bike around to burn it off.  Soon I was circling around nearby dimly-lit parking lots with my sweater around my neck staring at the moon and the tiny stars around it.  After scaring the shit outta myself by barreling down through a field into a concrete bump-stop I started to wind down a little.  I decided to leave my bike in the middle of the parking lot for some random person to take, I don’t know what made me feel in the mood to do that but it doesn’t really matter now.  I started to walk home and then started thinking about listening to my ipod but then I got this idea to toss my headphones away cause I really didn’t give a shit.  On my way home I kept crossing the street because I liked being in the middle of it, and soon I found myself craving the voice of someone familiar so I called up Danielle because she texted me earlier but she was about to hit the sack so I decided to give Candice a buzz because she always finds something to talk about.  I was practically home by the time I got her on the line so I decided to just walk around my housing complex while we chatted and soon I was sitting in front of my house listening to her while checking out the moon.  My mother ended up calling for me to get in the house so I went in and had to tell her that I left my bike unlocked in some parking lot on purpose.  She didn’t really like that, but I really don’t give the slightest damn.  I was out for hours and they didn’t know where I was, I really liked that about it all, I don’t even know why I did all this, I swear I’m fine but this whole day I just really couldn’t bring myself to think about anything.  I’m always thinking about so many things at the same time but I just really couldn’t come together with it.  I’m pretty sure my parents are worried sick about my well being now but I think it’s kind of cool, they’re probably going to let me do whatever I want just because of it.  Maybe one day I’ll tell them that I just don’t know things and that I think a lot about things that I shouldn’t and there’s really nothing wrong with me other than the fact that I’m one helluva phony.

Back to thinking.